Part 2. Realign.

It’s often after my saddest moments where I find myself looking through the events leading up to the pitiful feelings wondering where I deviated from my highest self. “What brought me here"?” or “What pulled my choices to this?” Often, my personal answer is being afraid of responsibility as if I can actually make an impact, so I’ll summarize that as low self-esteem, and then I stay sad and my perspective of life becomes gray and low like the emotional pit I’ve fallen into.

When I work to get specific to heal myself out of this pit, I look around to see what caused me to fall in the hole in the first place. I didn’t just appear there, I was either distracted and fell, I was going too fast and didn’t see it and tripped, or I was looking in at what once had a barrier to keep me out that gave out from under me. Figurative speech aside, what’s going to prevent me from falling in that hold again is knowing what not to do next time, and becoming aware of the warning signs that I’m getting close to the edge. Knowing the cause of what specifically brought my self-esteem down is going to help bring light to the warning signs of what brought me near the edge of the fall from last time. If I personally know that the activity I’m doing has influence, rather than procrastinating and sinking into imposter syndrome, I can just give myself a pep talk, ask a partner or friend for a pep talk, or look at the many reminders I’ve written myself to move into the work that matters. It feels good to do good” is a truth I reside in when I find myself under the influence of doom scrolling social media, procrastinating my life away from meaningful work.

So when I’m forced to rest, aka when my body shuts down before my mind, it sits me still to turn my focus in, what big feelings drove actions unconsciously, or consciously this week? OR if my mind fails me and convinces me I don’t need to do anything, what I have to say doesn’t matter, no one cares.. etc. my body tends to follow with doing things that are destructive, like over-working out, choosing sugar stuffed foods, and alcohol.

Connecting our mind to our body happens naturally, so when we are in control of the connection, the outcome tends to be positive. Choosing moments of mind-body connection within our day is an exercise we can do support a natural positive connection, even when we are tuned off of our awareness. The more we practice connecting our mind to our body deliberately in activities/exercise, the more it will naturally and unconsciously connect in ways that support growth and peace in and around us. On the contrary, the less we do these exercises, the more we are influenced by forces around us, for better or most of the time, worse.

“7 days without exercise = 1 weak.” -any elementary PE gym in the US during the inspirational poster boom of the 1990’s.

Going a week without some type of deliberate activity to help build us up, doesn’t support growth within our bodies or minds. If we don’t incorporate rest days into our work week, or moments of reflection into our day, our body and mind lowers it’s ability to maintain quality homeostasis and lowers the bar of efficiency, causing collapse in working order, not allowing an easy connection between systems. Rest and refocus is necessary for growth because it allows a realigned, stronger oder with more resources.

Self check: “How many times within every hour do I give myself a mini goal to complete, and work towards it, or at least set an intention?” “How often am I actually resting my brain?” “What am I refueling my brain with?”

I’ve found myself doing this for bigger things, like setting a learning target for a lesson I’m teaching in class, or for an interview, and even for a day off at home “what do I want to do with my time?” When I set an intention to “NOTICE,” even the smallest things during laundry or mowing the yard, I was able to keep myself in the moment easier and more frequently, rather than being lost on stress in my head. From there, problem solving, creativity and joy flowed from my thoughts while doing the task I’ve already done thousands of times, as opposed to if I entered into in with a negative mindset.

Chores, parenting, going to work, are typically things we can agonize through. It’s tough to push ourself through something if we feel we don’t want to do it, or if we think we can’t do it—Either way, it’s our mindset that prevents us from gaining a perspective of enjoyment and gratitude. {enter branded name-sake: forever in gratitude} We can be grateful for the things we get to take care of like our chores “this clean sink provides a space free of disease to support my body.” We have influence of a positive future with our children when we slow down and encourage them through their struggle of brushing their teeth every night, your voice becomes their inner voice as adults when they settle into a bedtime routine by habit and choice “this feels good, I like getting all the plaque, ooh, so shiny, great smile!” And finally a mindset of I get to work to provide support for others in my home and our community, “I have gifts and talents to share with others.” “My unique qualities are a puzzle piece of this team.”

To realign our habits and check-in with our mindsets, is to plan and accept moments of rest and reflection. Planning for daily realignment and reflection helps us stay in control of our actions, supporting us to choose peace, tact, and kindness even in the face of adversity. Realigning our actions helps support growth of new positive ones, to drive out old, hateful habits that have kept marginalized populations (women, people with disabilities, people of color..) in the dark, away from policies and decision making in systems. When realignment happens on an individual/personal scale, our path towards peace as a world population becomes normalized and supported by the systems instead of being oppressed by the systems.

This ability to tend to our focus and feelings takes work, and it’s even harder work when it becomes uncomfortable, BUT KEEP GOING. These ups and downs are life, and the more we choose to connect our mind to our body by noticing sensations, and choosing to slow our reactions, the more predictable future moments are, the more in-control we naturally feel. Soon enough, most things become comprehensible and pits of misery are smaller and easier to climb out of. It feels good to know things, it feels good to do good, and it feels good to do work, because when the work is by our choice, there is more regenerative and influential power given to this work. Having these mindsets lowers our bodies reactivity to stress supporting an easier connection between body systems improving the physical health within us. Realigning our life to a higher perspective, allows more options of an outcome to problems, we have more access to resources to solve them, and often times, the resolutions come with ease and synergistic positivity; our actions are influential no matter what, why not make them positive.

To realign daily is to choose a path of growth and connection.

practice (take any with you this week)

• Minimally: Sit and drink your morning drink (tea, coffee, electrolytes, greens…) without a screen. Maybe look out a window, maybe you’re just at a table,

  • Think through the day and plan for yourself, “how do I want to show up today, who do I need to be today?”

• Next level: reflect on specific questions tailored to your goals mid-day, before transition from work to home, examples can be: What actions today felt inauthentic, and why?

  • What small step can I take to honor my true self/purpose today?

  • What do I want to feel more of, and what drains me?

  • What am I consistently running from, and what patterns repeat

• Take a leap: all the above,

  • AND journal about them. Write them down. Do these at the end of the day, and sleep on the responses.

  • Talk through these reflection questions with a coach/ therapist/ counselor/ partner.

  • Find a meditation practice that works for you. This can help increase PAUSE in your day, and bring awareness to topics. I personally use Headspace. at the end of the day, it calms my mind.

  • Engage in a weekly deeper reflection, and plan out activities that directly align with who you want to be, and who you want to be around.

• Start here: Believe that you are worth living into the highest version of yourself, and the negative habits CAN go away.

Thanks for sticking around, if any of this stirs something up inside of you, let’s connect and see where we can grow.