02. A Sense of Balance.
Habits of mind that move our body.
Walking through life is a gentle pace. It usually means we’ve planned our activities to step into the next, ready with an open mind. We feel energized enough to be on alert, but not overwhelmed and risking fracture. It can also mean we have no where to be, but sense the urge to move (hence- walking, not laying or sitting). Staying upright is a choice, and it’s an regenerative action that moves us into a state of “remaining open to continuous learning”.
Speed is an influence to our ability to stay on a path: when riding a bike we need speed to stay up, but if going too fast simple turns become a hazard. In health emotionally and socially, pausing to think about our reaction leads to a more likely positive outcome as well; we don’t want to be mean, yet sometimes a quick reaction spits it out of us. Sometimes all it takes is a deep breath in then out, and we have a kind-hearted response to the thing that set off our internal alarm. Posture matters in alchemizing a negative thought to a positive response; it’s in the flexion of the muscles in our core to bring our breath that moves a negative thought passed our electric heart, gives it a spin of positivity, transforming it into something more kind.
Connection is also an influence that moves us to where we want or need to go. Think about the saying “all four on the floor,” when tipping back in our chair seeming imbalanced. It’s also an influence if someone personally invites us to a party, as opposed to just seeing a poster for it. The connected invite inclines us more willing to go for the shared experience, especially if there was doubt about the outcome of the activity. There can also be something within us that connects us to an activity, this is called “intrinsic motivation,” or “intuition” and it’s one of the biggest influences to learning; if we want to learn, we’ll learn.
Earlier this summer, I went to Electric Forest (a music festival in Michigan) by myself with the intention to wander (side-quest). There was something within me that said, “go to the festival,” so I wrote in my journal “EF or Bust” and headed east. (Noted, never write that phrase again). The only timeline I set myself to was meals and the different DJ’s to go see at the stages, and even then I was not checking the clock, just vibrations: in my stomach, and the music. My attention turned from inside of my body, to out in the environment often, checking in on what I was sensing. Early on in the festival weekend, I settled into a library in the woods where there was a festival-journal that people could throw their thoughts into, I was inspired to participate for the sake of the experience.
In 2022 I started my dream job, I had just turned 30, I thought life was just going to explode into actualization- it did, but in the wrong way. Our family took a traumatizing hit which lead me to hyper-focus on work and walking to change my environment and get fresh air. Here is where I found podcasting, and here is where I learned that the way in which I was using alcohol had to stop. Up until this point I knew textbook level information about alcohol, but I never stopped to process it in my life. I especially didn’t change my habits, despite feeling an overwhelming dread of life that I masked as an encouraging character because that’s what I knew. With awareness comes responsibility, and I decided to work to change my habits. I knew better, but somehow couldn’t do better until the very real and grounding experience. From here I saw thatif it weren’t for my knowledge that I can change my perspective in any situation to grow myself out of it, I would be stuck in a bad vortex of self pity and anger. I knew I could stop, so I did. What came next was that I actually became more “in-tune” with what I was feeling. I was no longer “numbing” a sensory input of the world around me. Unconscious me, was not the full me. I leaned into learning deeply about health, and continuously found the beauty of the overlap of biology and our intellectual “habits of mind,” to evolve us into the multidimensional beings we are. I used my thoughts to change my demeanor, and figured out that the universe is telling me, my actions influence others, be better.
So here I am in the forest having driven 3,000 miles across the country in 4 days, (more on this later) proud of my sobriety, accomplishments of completion, and actually feeling like I’ve evolved, but still feeling a sense of “what do I do now?” The cool thing was, I didn’t have to decide, the Forest did. While sitting there pondering, a festival guest places golden tarot card on the table next to my solo self, flipped over, it’s Temperance. The card of balance & patience. In history: prohibition and social-reform. In character: self-control and avoiding extremes.
So here we are re-defining Health and how we walk with it.
Health is not focusing in on getting really good at a specific things, it’s not an isolated set of skills, but it’s the ability to adapt and maneuver and translate from one moment to the next, and still remain at a steady pace.
Balance in Health is our ability to switch lenses when the environment changes, it’s the ability to know our limit and stay there despite social, emotional, or even financial pressures to move. Balance is also choosing activities that support us now AND later.
The result of this is that we learn to love growing in the tension, and will find peace in the rest (stillness), two things Western culture connects distraction to, like alcohol, video games, or even sex. The culture tells us “don’t feel bad, we’ll make you feel good” and disconnects us from the work that can be done with the right fuel.
Below, I have collaged a picture to help expand into our sensory organs. A system within our body that tells us through different sensations such as an elevated heart rate, shallow breathing or even beats to an ear drum. From this point of noticing what has changed, we get to act and move the sensation back out and return to equilibrium, or homeostasis.
Our nervous system, and the 9 senses that make us feel.
Action can start by slowing down, listening to what we smell, see and feel (etc.). Being overwhelmed is an imbalance of knowing what to pay attention to. When we can detach our Self by breathing and calming into a state of reflection, judgment begins to diminish and fall away. From here, we can meditate on what put us there, and what we can do to move it along, choosing to keep it as a memory or less, or let it go into a forgotten thought.
Energy helps us do this, like good food, water, and authentic people encouraging us to get back up, resources that aren’t always accessible.
However, shifting our state of mind can be there once we have had an opportunity to “gather our senses” or “control my nerves.” Below is a matrix that illustrates energy levels with pleasantness, an updated model for the people. We can see that a shift in attention (-2x, 2y)→ (2x,2y) can turn an unpleasant feeling into a sense of purpose. “Im not rushed, they want me there, I feel valued.” And I can move in with a smile and a sense of belonging, happy to be invited. Acting on our feelings is growth oriented when we have a positive mindset (consistently re-aligning our focus to the green). Staying stuck in embarrassment can leave us feeling sad longer than we need. Shifting our perspective over to being grateful for an opportunity of expression can help us move through this blue sadness.
These are generally where I view emotions can be measured, and this list is not exhaustive.
Stress is our bodies response to change. It’s surge we feel in us for the change. But If we are ALWAYS on the move, shouldn’t we be used to change? The answer is no- as a culture, we are not used to moving and changing with a positive mindset. Of course we’re tired, there are so many things to pay attention to. AND there are things we can do to generate energy within us to support our ever changing environments.
What do we do about this stress? We use it, and act after we have shifted our mind, and created a plan forward. We have to let this new environment/situation/problem move through our body of sensation, and into our brain to resolve a next best step, and then using the energy released from our stress response to move it into action. Just like in exercise when we lift weights, muscles fibers tear, and our immune systems works with the food we eat to repair the tear and make us stronger. In gardening, if you’ve ever watched a pea plant grow up a wall, the vine is in a constant loop of extend, rotate, latch, extend, rotate, latch, a cute dance at high speed. In neurobiology, we know that in the struggle of learning, it is the process; frustrating for a learner missing answers on flash cards, but worth the “tension,” to help grow the working memory into long-term memory. Growth happens because we have to adapt to the changes, and our bodies are hardwired to repair for better results next time, to withstand and learn from the changes.
A wholistic example that I can pull from in my experience is when I was teaching yoga at the High School level. The purpose was to get kids physically active, and culturally aware of it’s history so we explored yoga as a framework of experience, feelings, and reflections; the 8 limbs of yoga. Each limb is a part of life, living is the “test,” and the class is practice. This culture of intentional reflection and purposeful action has had a spark in me since 2019 when I had to appropriately present this culture as a white female PE teacher not certificated in yoga to a population of mostly west-asian students. Physical Education here, became about looking at the energy around us, and learning what to do with it. The balance in motion is that we have control of our awareness, and because of this control, inner peace is easily accessible.
Here is the gist of the 8 limbs of yoga, and why I believe learning about yoga and adopting what we can to our everyday habits can help us balance our actions, and live in alignment.
Yama- “ abstinences,” things we should not do, like steal, lie, or become violent.
Niyamas- “Virtuous habits,” Persistance, contentment, seeking true self, understand and learn about the energy that influences us.
Asana- “Postures,” Seats, poses, holds.
Pranayama- Breathwork, controlling the breath, using it with movement
Pratayahara- Retracting from a sensory experience. Singling down what we sense, and not allowing it to influence us.
Dharana- Concentration, supported with a mantra. “I am love,” “I speak kindness,”
Dhyana- Reflection and non-judgmental train of thought.
Samadhi- Cognitive ecstasy, intensified awareness, bliss.
Awareness of these limbs and maybe even states of the mind, or gears to shift into, are providing esteem to where we want to grow/go next. With self-control, (Niyama) we can sit in uncomfortable positions because we know they’re good for us. I practice concentrated positive statements to override a negative thought in my head, “health is wealth,” I say before a second glass of wine, choosing not to drink it because I know that I’ll feel better in the morning without it.
Balance happens in honest conversation with our Self. It happens when we take moments to recognize what we feel, and breathe through it.
print for your classroom, fridge, or staff break room.
Imbalance is more than a physical sense, it’s intellectual, it’s spiritual, and I had to respond with integrity. As I sat in my rock bottom, I learned I couldn’t positive mantra my way out of this- there was no escaping from my inner Self. Dishonesty would keep me coughing up new stories to have to remember in a gooey state of short-term memory.
Chris Herren, former NBA Basketball player, Recovering Heroine addict, public speaker, grounds his encouragements in “feeling comfortable in your skin and making choices to be the best you,” as the solution for preventing and treating alcohol addiction. Owning our sense of Self is the place healing starts when we have social anxiety, a positive mental reframe is the support.
“This anxiety I feel is just energy, for the new and unknown. I can breathe to calm my nerves, but ultimately, the point is to do new things, this is the experience and I get to be here for it.”
I can’t stand here and say don’t drink alcohol, I also can’t say that I’m an expert on brain science (you saw that collage). But I am a PE teacher, so I can say “go play.” Go play with a basketball, your pet, colored pencils, the scooter in your garage, the many dice games, or even play with your outfits for the weekend. It’s in play, that we find ourself. We find our limits, WE TEST OUR BALANCE and our past seems to only make us stronger for the next round.
Energy to act in self-care activities will start a positive reward system for this healing model. Brushing my teeth, washing my face, completing a bed time routine can help a better nights rest, providing better energy for the next day. Day after day in this routine, I start to yearn for the physiological sensation of calm and accomplished. These health enhancing activities are perpetuating a positive loop of doing good and feeling good. While these might be “boring,” the joy actually comes from the things we get to notice in the next moments with renewed energy, or even when we have creative energy to have fun and play.
Playing in Balance this week:
Intellectual- thinking
Let go: Fixed mindsets. phrases like “i can’t,” or “ i don’t.”
obvious disclaimer for telling someone to stop something harmful.
Grow: Take moments to check in with what you are sensing. Locate them in your minds eye.
“I am in tune with my senses.”
Academic- deep learning
Let go: Reading a title of an article, and claiming it as fact.
Grow: Find the truth with time and reading deeper. Find one truth, look at another source to coompare.
“I am open to new information.”
Financial- influencer of resources
Let go: Using easy purchase apps that give you a product immediately. (amazon, temu). Is there something you already have that can do the job first?
Grow: Before buying new decorations for this season, look around to what what you already have to repurpose.
“I spend to take care of my needs.”
Physical- body systems
Let go: Skipping your warm-up to exercise.
Grow: Get your body warm, and your head connected. Go play basketball instead of the routine treadmill.
“I care for my heart and my muscles”
Environmental- Space around us
Let go: Staying inside on a rainy day.
Grow: Walk around the neighborhood or park, and find natural lines or peaks to balance on. (rocks, sidewalks, logs, parking lines) change your route just by focusing on where you step.
“I am in control of my steps.”
Emotional- processing system of action and inaction
Let go: Tension in your forehead. Relax that face!
Grow: Have a breathing contest with a family member. either see how long you can hold. or how many different names of an exhale you can do. ex: the “birthday candle,” “the dandelion,” “the lion!”
“I am calm.”
Spiritual- connection to life energy
Let go: Sitting and looking at your phone while waiting. Resist “curing” boredom.
Grow: Stare at a tree (or plant if you’re indoors) while sitting. Make a point to check in, and re-align your posture, stack the spine, level the chin, and breathe.
“I am love, love is me, I give love.”
Creative- expression of life energy
Let go: eating boring food for the sake of it’s healthy, or there’s no time.
Grow: Add one more ingredient to a meal you typically have. Be excited to see how it influences the overall dish. (avocado be be topped onto anything, tell me I’m wrong.)
“I have fun and play.”
Social- influence to connections
Let go: Skipping out on free community events.
Grow: Go! Walk around with your neighbors and look at art, attend the movie night, go to the dinner. Scroll back up and read about a positive mental reframe to move past social anxiety.
“Seeing people exist is beautiful.”
thanks for sticking with me.
a happy forest it was.
